Oooo gurl, you tole heeyum!

**Warning - this post contains the word "ass" in several places. Please exit if you are offended by this word, or if you would be offended that a grown woman would call a 10 year old boy this word.**

Is it bad to call a kid an ass? No? Okay. Good.

Clara told me on the way home the other day that this boy in her class asked her if she is any good at soccer. Naturally, she said "well, yeah." Then he said, "do you practice a lot?" "Yes," she said, "we practice a couple times a week."

Then the little ass said, "well I guess you're not all that good, are ya, or you wouldn't need all that practice?"

ASS! ASS! ASS! ASS!

I asked her what she said, and she didn't quite know WHAT to say to this ass. I mean - first of all, do we treat this as teasing? As dissing? Or do we just assume this child is "special" and doesn't grasp the concept of practice? Or do we assume the kid is jealous? Or, do we assume the kid likes Clara (like, like-likes, not just likes) and is intimidated by her abilities? I think he's a little ass.

Whatever.

So a few days after that incident, Clara got in the car, pleased as punch. She said "do you remember the kid who asked me if I practice soccer a lot?" and I said that I did. "Well," she began, "I really got him back and GOOD."

WHOOOOPEEEEE!!

"What'd ya do?" I asked her excitedly.

"Well, see, there is a girl in my class, and she just got a new dog, and everyone was talking about it, including the boy that asked me that, and then someone else asked what kind of dog it was and the boy that asked me said, 'Is it a Yorkie?' and and and and I said "NO, BUT YOU'RE A DORKIE!"

BOOOOOYAH you little dorkie ass!

The moral of this story is…don't mess with Clara. If you do…she'll get ya back. It might not be today, and it might not be tomorrow, BUT SHE WILL GET YOU!